Bucket List

1. Go on a cruise   (I rode the Maid of the Mist in Canada...but I'm sure that doesn't count.)
2. Travel throughout Israel
3. Lift 40 lbs + the bar   (Weak...I know..but right now I'm working the bar.)
4. Have 97 % pass rate on the CRCT for my students
5. Buy a star and name it Larbear and Janice
6.  Meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt
7.  Be in the studio audience of the Ellen Show
8. Get married to the love of my life (once preferably)
9. Adopt at-least one baby (why have lots, when there are so many who need us?)
10.  Go skydiving
11. Try Authentic Greek food
12.  Attend a John Mayer concert
13. Learn how to use photoshop the right way
14.  Give a toast at a wedding
15.  Attend my student's graduation
16.  Teach my future children about Jesus and how much he loves them
17.  Re-prioritize my bucket list
18.  Speak to a group of women about my testimony
19. Learn enough of one language to carry on with someone of that background
20.  to be continued.

Romance..dead or alive...or maybe it's my heart that's a little dead. Zombie heart? I digress.

So I've recently started finishing/re-reading a book a friend gave to me a year ago, "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy.   I love this book.  I admit, I started it a year ago with noble intentions.  It was one of those books that Super Christian's rave about...it's the next "Captivating"...the best guide to love after the bible. etc etc.  

And let me clarify..this book is pretty great.  It's filled with blunt honesty and led with scripture.  Ludy rehashes experiences in romance in her life and explains why things worked out (or didn't work out) using the word as the rule.  Blah blah...So why am I saying this now?

As I dusted off the Floridian sand from last years Labor Day trip, I realized I stopped reading this book because it called me out on some uncomfortable truth.  "Jesus is the only true and satisfying love in this life."

No no no!!   This isn't what Cinderella says!   This isn't at all the plan.  I'm supposed to be in love my God, and then he'll provide someone who completely meets my needs and loves me unconditionally for who I am..  Slams book shut.  

I suppose the hardest lie to face is the one you've given to yourself.  

"The unmarried young woman centers her earthly existence around the affairs of her heavenly Prince, and her aim in life is to be completely set apart for Him, in body and in spirit."
1 Corinthians 7:34, Paraphrase

This is not something I like admitting.  
I was that girl in high school that prayed for her future husband.  The one in college that made promises to look for warrior's heart and to guard mine with prayer and discernment..

And now I'm the one in a career..with the same statement on my lips.  I must aim my life to be completely set apart.  

That is tough.  
"That" calls for a continuous and conscientious lifestyle change.  Because what comes easy, and what is natural is not what is right.   

Proverbs 4:23

²³ Keep your heart pure for out of it are the important things of life.

Jeremiah 17:5-11

 ⁵ The Lord says, “Cursed is the man who trusts in man, who trusts in the flesh for his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord. ⁶ For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when good comes. He will live in dry wastes in the desert, in a land of salt where no other people live. ⁷ Good will come to the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord. ⁸ He will be like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the river. It will not be afraid when the heat comes but its leaves will be green. It will not be troubled in a dry year, or stop giving fruit.

⁹ “The heart is fooled more than anything else, and is very sinful. Who can know how bad it is? ¹⁰ I the Lord look into the heart, and test the mind. I give to each man what he should have because of his ways and because of the fruit that comes from his works. ¹¹ As a bird that sits on eggs which it has not laid, so is he who gets rich by doing wrong. When his life is half over, they will leave him, and in the end he will be a fool.”

Everything around me says "Rachel, trust your heart."  

The heart is fooled more than anything else.   It says it clear as day.  

So what now...What advice do I offer myself and you?  

In the words of Leslie Ludy, "Every stage of a love story that is truly initiate by our Prince-- both the friendship and the romance--only enhances our intimacy with Him.  if a relationship is not leading us closer and closer to Him, it will quickly become just another one of those lovers cluttering up our sanctuary."  

After I read this...I let it resonate..and then..I questioned it.  WHY!!  Why would I question something that sounds so easy to comprehend.  But it's there is scripture...over and over again

Romans 11:36

³⁶ Everything comes from the Lord. All things were made because of him and will return to him. Praise the Lord forever! Amen.

James 1:17 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 Chronicles 29:14

But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us!

1 John 4:19

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:7-8

⁷ Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is ^[a]born of God and knows God. ⁸ The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God promises love, and unconditional love from Him.  Love that never stops,  never gives up, love that never forgets, never needs encouraging, ...Love that is

⁴ patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    1 Corinthians 13...

So now, on a high from scripture..what does this mean?

"A romantic relationship might very well have been initiated by God, but the moment our focus moves from our Prince to a human love story is the moment we cease to guard our sanctuary, and our entire foundation for success crumbles into ashes.  A relationship that leads us closer to our Princes and carefully protects our inner sanctuary is the key to discovering romance as it was truly intended to be--a little taste of heaven on earth."

So...

²⁵ “I tell you this: Do not worry about your life. Do not worry about what you are going to eat and drink. Do not worry about what you are going to wear. Is not life more important than food? Is not the body more important than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds in the sky. They do not plant seeds. They do not gather grain. They do not put grain into a building to keep. Yet your Father in heaven feeds them! Are you not more important than the birds? ²⁷ Which of you can make himself a little taller by worrying? ²⁸ Why should you worry about clothes? Think how the flowers grow. They do not work or make cloth. ²⁹ But I tell you that Solomon in all his greatness was not dressed as well as one of these flowers. ³⁰ God clothes the grass of the field. It lives today and is burned in the stove tomorrow. How much more will He give you clothes? You have so little faith! ³¹ Do not worry. Do not keep saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘What will we wear?’ ³² The people who do not know God are looking for all these things. Your Father in heaven knows you need all these things. ³³ First of all, look for the holy nation of God. Be right with Him. All these other things will be given to you also. ³⁴ Do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will have its own worries. The troubles we have in a day are enough for one day.

Matthew 6:25-34