I don't want to be.

I guess I'm bitter
Because you pop up on my status, together
and still no apology.

I guess I'm bitter
because you gave no respect
and now you've got plenty

I guess I'm bitter
because I tried so hard to give you love
and I got hurt instead

I guess I'm bitter
because camp was my love,
and now its something I dread.

I'm bitter because I see him with her
and then mine with me
but mine doesn't want to be around
if it doesn't fit his schedule, conveniently

I'm bitter because I'm bitter, because I don't want or like to be.
I just want to love on you, but your lies still anger me.

You both lied to my face, and I knew it the WHOLE time.
And still prayed and encouraged you, while you used me, words and rhyme.

And now I keep asking for forgiveness, because I can't let it go,
that you never asked for mine, instead just let it go

So I'm reminded each time you pop up,
your "couple-y" pictures and all
of the hardest summer of my life,
where I tried so hard to lift you up, and instead, you let me fall.

I know I am not perfect
far from it I know
I'm sorry if I hurt you,
I've tried so hard to just let go

I promise I always prayed good thoughts towards you
and good things in your life
even when you tried me, with lies and late nights

So, here I am, broken and done with it all
After writing, I'm not longer bitter
just sad at how the end was called.

If together is where you both truly belong, then I hope it will always be filled with love.
And that every-time you are together, you share it around you, given from above.

But please, have some mercy on me, the fragile creature I seem to be.
Because my heart is still broken, still healing from a wound that never heals until maybe one day, whenever the blind will finally see..
This loneliness pit I sit in, will finally be stripped away.
Away from all the medicines and doctors
To finally see light and day.

My God loves you, so dearly to his heart.
And loves me too, I know it, I'm ready for that life to start.

This one still hurts so painful, its harsh and unforgiving.
My Jesus' home is worship, glory to Him, I'll be giving.
He is the giver, the lover,
the lover.
the lover of those who cannot possibly give him the full extent of worship he deserves
and still he loves us?
I can't form comprehending words.

So, tonight, I will soak in, he comforts the broken-hearted.
and drink in his rejoicing love song deep
and Pray for understanding
because I'm bitter, and I don't want to be.